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I admit I actually planted the seed early on in our dating. She admitted to me that she liked wearing skirts and dresses, but it was harder to justify because it was cold out. I asked, "Why not wear nylons or tights?" It was an answer she hadn't really considered deeply before that. And so she began wearing tights, mostly, on our dates. (Her two jobs at the time allowed her to dress up, but as a teacher and a retail employee, she needed something that wouldn't run easily, hence she favored opaque tights.)
On our third or fourth date, we were eating at a restaurant and somehow (I wonder how...sometimes I feel a bit guilty about this, but I told myself I was always satisfying two needs, hers and mine) the topic of her shoes and feet came up, in that her feet were sore. We were in a booth, so I quietly suggested she take off her shoes and put her feet in my lap. And so she became the first girl I gave a foot massage.
From there it got easier; dating a girl who works on her feet all day usually means her feet need lots of shoeless time and rubbings. On most of our dates, she was instantly shoeless, which led to games of footsie or under-table (or after-date-in-car) foot rubs.
However, there's the indulgence part. My wife has a high body temperature; she feels hot all the time. The warmer months are hard for her; if she could live in the pool and run AC all day, she would from about late March through late October.
And so tights make her feel uncomfortably hot much of the year. She knows how I feel about tights, but unless there's a cool room on every step of the journey, she'll go bare-legged for her comfort, rather than risk feeling uncomfortable and sweaty.
I often wish she'd make an exception. A few years back we had a streak of early-fall weddings. And while I got to see a couple stocking-footed wedding guests, my wife wasn't one of them. It was too hot, so dress and sandals and bare legs it was. I feel a bit bad because I don't have anything to offer in return; it's not like she thinks I'm sexy in a suit. She does get something in return...but the hours of discomfort don't translate to foot rubs, I suppose.
But she's understanding, and that's the first step. A good friend of mine laments that his work-from-home wife doesn't put much effort into her wardrobe anymore; it's jeans and tees/sweatshirts/sweaters at most. Not that he puts a ton of effort into his shopping, but he wouldn't mind if they could spruce up and do a date night here and there. She won't usually...a shame, because she has zero self-confidence and looks smashing in a dress.
So at least we have that.
The first time I ever brought up my fondness for pretty feet in stockings was with a girl I was dating in my teens. She was very open to it which made it very easy for me. I distinctly remember telling her at one point that I wish I didn't have this kink, since at the time I was very bashful about. She said something to me that changed me forever. She replied to my comment with, "Why would you want to get rid of something so harmless that bring you so much pleasure?". That simple question changed my outlook immediately, and my approach to the subject. Definitely a defining moment in my sexual evolution.
Fast forward to my wife... She picked up on it quickly. There was no "let's sit down and talk" approach. I've never approached it that way with any girl. It just came out naturally and she was intrigued by it and thought it was cute. She indulges me without issue. Sure, with children, things tend to slow down as life gets in the way, but that's normal.
Though she doesn't care too much for hosiery anymore, she still wears them periodically for me, or when the event calls for it. She is an attorney, so she wears a lot of pant suites to work, with the very occasional skirt with opaque tights (in the winter months). I also like her in socks. As a result, she has quite a large collection of different types of socks. I'd be willing to bet she has at least 50 pairs. She buys and wears them because she knows I like it.
I've always been of the opinion that though my kink does not define me, it is certainly a part of me. If the girl can't accept it, then she can't accept me. Life is way too short to deprive yourself of something so innocuous, as my teenage girlfriend taught me
I have read in various forums in the past testimonies of married "comrades" of ours that are completely petrified in the idea that their wifes might find out about their foot fetish! I find it completely absurd and disfunctional. You can't marry a woman that doesn't know about your fetishes!