My personal theory of foot fetish development
Posted: Thu Oct 28, 2021 1:45 am
Hi guys (girls?),
I’m Raz and I'm new here, and this might sound like an odd post. It is also a little long, but please bare with me (I have condensed as much as possible).
I'll start by introducing myself. I am in my 30’s and had a foot attraction (I don’t like the word fetish) since as long as I can remember. It was something I knew very young, although didn't really realise it until maybe my teen years (perhaps like most of us)
The reason I made an account is to posit my personal theory of foot fetish development.
I am a current trainee therapist and so an avid self-reflector. My training requires that I examine every aspect of myself, so self-reflection is currently big part of my life.
This is relevant to say because, having searched for contemporary theories of ‘foot fetishes’, they mostly seem inadequate to me. I can’t imagine there’s a huge number of scientists interested in this area as a point of research.
There is some theory of how foot fetishes develop from a biological view, but they don’t offer much really, and there are older psychodynamic theories saying the foot is the same shape as a penis, so it is related to this why people become attracted to this area (I don’t buy this at all and it’s very outdated).
Basically, I am curious on what people’s personal theories are about why they developed an attraction to feet. Has it been obvious to you, or just something you have always known?
I will tell my own personal understanding, and state the parts that I think MIGHT be generalised, and see what people think.
Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m not suggesting everybody with a foot fetish has a trauma history. I do have a trauma history, and my development of my attraction to female feet is related to that.
Ok, when I was very young, during the development stages of life (pre-verbal) I have experienced vague, implicit memories that there were times growing up, where the only ‘safe’ thing I could latch onto, was a female foot. During these periods, being around the female foot felt like what my primitive mind might describe as ‘God’. This was safety, this was security, this was comfort, this was all I knew, and where I felt comforted.
My interpretation of this, is that as a child, we are constantly seeking out that which will keep us safe. In my absence of an appropriate caregiver to consistently give me the love and attention I needed, I clung onto the ‘foot’ as my safe haven, and this became the object that signified safety to me.
However, there were times when even this – the ‘female foot’ – didn’t feel safe anymore. It wasn’t always there to nurture me, and as a child this caused confusion. I take this to be times when the comfort I sought (from the foot) wasn’t there, i.e I was ignored, not protected or even abused (from a female friend of the family – this is the part that is my personal story).
This confusion of the female foot being God (i.e safe area) and at times non-responsive or even cruel, occurred during a time of sexual development as a child.
Now there is a consensus that we adapt to our environments. So in my case, during sexual development, I adapted to become attracted to the female foot, this was my safe place in childhood, and although there were times it was ambiguous, it had mainly felt like ‘home’ for me.
It doesn’t start off as a sexual thing, but because I didn’t consistently have my needs met, my development took on a trajectory that adapted to the female foot being the safe haven, and within my sexual development, my brain responded, I grew up and lo and behold I am attracted to female feet of women. So this is an adaptive response, because my brain reacted to finding comfort from a female’s foot in this way. For children who get the adequate nurturance as a children, they might adapt to that and grow up to be attracted to other, typical areas of the body (i.e. a breast fed child who found solace in that, grows up to like breasts).
For me, because there were times when the ‘foot’ wasn’t a safe place (i.e when I was ignored, when I needed care) my development also took a turn in that along with my foot attraction, I enjoy it when women dominate me using their feet (so unlike some, I enjoy being submissive to a women and her using her feet in such a way).
This makes sense to me, as the times the foot was a ‘cruel’ place during periods in childhood, I developed to be sexually aroused by a ‘cruel’ woman. My brain adapted to the environment I was brought up in, so the attraction to domineering women is my brain’s responses to survive such an upbringing. In other words, my development was responsive and completely normal for the conditions I have experienced.
Now the part I feel might generalise to others (and correct me if I’m way off, these are just my thoughts). Although I’m not saying trauma causes a foot fetish, it is feasible that in this modern world, when adults are often so busy and not always available for children, the only sense of security some young children might have on occasion, comes from being at the feet of the caregiving adult (i.e mother).
If you imagine a child reaching up for comfort, but at times not receiving that care that they sorely need, they then maintain a sense of safety and security from the foot of the woman they are at (because it’s the only response they are getting in that moment). The child then learns that this area is typically safe for them when they are in distress. If this occurs over a period of sexual development (which physiologically starts at around 2 years old), then the developing brain adapts to this environment of a female's foot being comforting. The individual grows up and this area becomes sexualised for them because of this early conditioning. This to me, would also support the idea that the foot fetish is the most common type of fetish, because in this modern world, adults are at times too busy to always respond to their child appropriately, that the child finds other ways to feel safe, and the ‘foot’ is always there, even if being picked up and held isn’t.
Ok! That’s basically my theory in a nutshell. I know FOR ME, this explains my foot attraction, it makes perfect sense and I have slowly pieced this together over some years. I should say that I have had psychedelic and meditative experiences which has helped me piece this together, and it isn’t something I’ve just always known. So some of these thoughts might sound odd, as to how I can remember such early development. Some of the insights I’ve gained into my own sexual development have come along spontaneously during these states, but have made perfect sense when they did, allowing me to get greater understanding of my development.
I’d love to start a discussion. Even if you disagree with my ideas, what are your thoughts on how/why you developed a foot fetish?
I should finish by saying I’m not looking into this through a lens that it needs changing or ‘curing’ at all. As I said in my story, for me it is as adaptive response – my brain has responded how anyone’s brain might respond in such a situation. So I feel it is actually a normal outcome to a very particular set of environmental circumstances (although society at large doesn’t quite accept the normality of it, for me these personal insights explain it more than anything else I’ve ever come across).
Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing some responses. If anybody actually finds these ideas interesting or would like to discuss, I’d be happy to engage.
I’m Raz and I'm new here, and this might sound like an odd post. It is also a little long, but please bare with me (I have condensed as much as possible).
I'll start by introducing myself. I am in my 30’s and had a foot attraction (I don’t like the word fetish) since as long as I can remember. It was something I knew very young, although didn't really realise it until maybe my teen years (perhaps like most of us)
The reason I made an account is to posit my personal theory of foot fetish development.
I am a current trainee therapist and so an avid self-reflector. My training requires that I examine every aspect of myself, so self-reflection is currently big part of my life.
This is relevant to say because, having searched for contemporary theories of ‘foot fetishes’, they mostly seem inadequate to me. I can’t imagine there’s a huge number of scientists interested in this area as a point of research.
There is some theory of how foot fetishes develop from a biological view, but they don’t offer much really, and there are older psychodynamic theories saying the foot is the same shape as a penis, so it is related to this why people become attracted to this area (I don’t buy this at all and it’s very outdated).
Basically, I am curious on what people’s personal theories are about why they developed an attraction to feet. Has it been obvious to you, or just something you have always known?
I will tell my own personal understanding, and state the parts that I think MIGHT be generalised, and see what people think.
Firstly, I just wanted to say that I’m not suggesting everybody with a foot fetish has a trauma history. I do have a trauma history, and my development of my attraction to female feet is related to that.
Ok, when I was very young, during the development stages of life (pre-verbal) I have experienced vague, implicit memories that there were times growing up, where the only ‘safe’ thing I could latch onto, was a female foot. During these periods, being around the female foot felt like what my primitive mind might describe as ‘God’. This was safety, this was security, this was comfort, this was all I knew, and where I felt comforted.
My interpretation of this, is that as a child, we are constantly seeking out that which will keep us safe. In my absence of an appropriate caregiver to consistently give me the love and attention I needed, I clung onto the ‘foot’ as my safe haven, and this became the object that signified safety to me.
However, there were times when even this – the ‘female foot’ – didn’t feel safe anymore. It wasn’t always there to nurture me, and as a child this caused confusion. I take this to be times when the comfort I sought (from the foot) wasn’t there, i.e I was ignored, not protected or even abused (from a female friend of the family – this is the part that is my personal story).
This confusion of the female foot being God (i.e safe area) and at times non-responsive or even cruel, occurred during a time of sexual development as a child.
Now there is a consensus that we adapt to our environments. So in my case, during sexual development, I adapted to become attracted to the female foot, this was my safe place in childhood, and although there were times it was ambiguous, it had mainly felt like ‘home’ for me.
It doesn’t start off as a sexual thing, but because I didn’t consistently have my needs met, my development took on a trajectory that adapted to the female foot being the safe haven, and within my sexual development, my brain responded, I grew up and lo and behold I am attracted to female feet of women. So this is an adaptive response, because my brain reacted to finding comfort from a female’s foot in this way. For children who get the adequate nurturance as a children, they might adapt to that and grow up to be attracted to other, typical areas of the body (i.e. a breast fed child who found solace in that, grows up to like breasts).
For me, because there were times when the ‘foot’ wasn’t a safe place (i.e when I was ignored, when I needed care) my development also took a turn in that along with my foot attraction, I enjoy it when women dominate me using their feet (so unlike some, I enjoy being submissive to a women and her using her feet in such a way).
This makes sense to me, as the times the foot was a ‘cruel’ place during periods in childhood, I developed to be sexually aroused by a ‘cruel’ woman. My brain adapted to the environment I was brought up in, so the attraction to domineering women is my brain’s responses to survive such an upbringing. In other words, my development was responsive and completely normal for the conditions I have experienced.
Now the part I feel might generalise to others (and correct me if I’m way off, these are just my thoughts). Although I’m not saying trauma causes a foot fetish, it is feasible that in this modern world, when adults are often so busy and not always available for children, the only sense of security some young children might have on occasion, comes from being at the feet of the caregiving adult (i.e mother).
If you imagine a child reaching up for comfort, but at times not receiving that care that they sorely need, they then maintain a sense of safety and security from the foot of the woman they are at (because it’s the only response they are getting in that moment). The child then learns that this area is typically safe for them when they are in distress. If this occurs over a period of sexual development (which physiologically starts at around 2 years old), then the developing brain adapts to this environment of a female's foot being comforting. The individual grows up and this area becomes sexualised for them because of this early conditioning. This to me, would also support the idea that the foot fetish is the most common type of fetish, because in this modern world, adults are at times too busy to always respond to their child appropriately, that the child finds other ways to feel safe, and the ‘foot’ is always there, even if being picked up and held isn’t.
Ok! That’s basically my theory in a nutshell. I know FOR ME, this explains my foot attraction, it makes perfect sense and I have slowly pieced this together over some years. I should say that I have had psychedelic and meditative experiences which has helped me piece this together, and it isn’t something I’ve just always known. So some of these thoughts might sound odd, as to how I can remember such early development. Some of the insights I’ve gained into my own sexual development have come along spontaneously during these states, but have made perfect sense when they did, allowing me to get greater understanding of my development.
I’d love to start a discussion. Even if you disagree with my ideas, what are your thoughts on how/why you developed a foot fetish?
I should finish by saying I’m not looking into this through a lens that it needs changing or ‘curing’ at all. As I said in my story, for me it is as adaptive response – my brain has responded how anyone’s brain might respond in such a situation. So I feel it is actually a normal outcome to a very particular set of environmental circumstances (although society at large doesn’t quite accept the normality of it, for me these personal insights explain it more than anything else I’ve ever come across).
Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing some responses. If anybody actually finds these ideas interesting or would like to discuss, I’d be happy to engage.