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Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

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shoequeen15
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:54 pm

Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by shoequeen15 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 3:53 pm

Ok so back in December, I was home alone at our new place and stumbled across my fiancé’s shoe collection. My initial reaction was that he was cheating, but I knew something was off as he only had 1 of each shoe. He eventually confessed to having a foot fetish. Honestly, it didn’t upset me. He wasn’t and isn’t cheating, and foot fetishes don’t bother me or gross me out. Over the course of the following months, I learned more and more about the fetish and what he enjoys. For a long time our sex life was the best it ever was (we actually didn’t even have one for the first year of our relationship as he didn’t know how to tell any of this to me), and every day we incorporated shoeplay into our daily schedules. Fast forward to mid-Feb, things started to get ugly. I found myself constantly worrying about him watching other women in public and it started to drive me crazy. I’d catch him glancing at their feet and a few times I’d catch him watching. I didn’t know how to handle it and it sent me into a depression. It was constant. I also found a different forum he regularly frequented and I found all these posts about sellers he bought from and it honestly made me sick, not because of the fetish, but because I couldn’t stand seeing my fiancé (boyfriend at the time of the posts) create these mega posts featuring women’s faces and their shoes. The seller was 90% of the reason he bought shoes and it hurt me knowing he has a list of women he obsessed over and got shoes from. I also found a post about some woman he was obsessed with at his college, and I eventually found videos of her on his laptop. They’re still there, I refuse to ask him to delete them because I’m afraid he’ll hate me for it. I am constantly stressing out about him getting off to other women. I don’t know how to cope. During that rough patch he used some site and had a girl do things for him on camera, mind you him and I hadn’t had any sexual contact for weeks because he was so sick of my paranoia and constant questions.

I guess my question is, how do I learn to cope with this?? Men, do you consider other women to be just as special to you as your partner/spouse etc? Should I have a reason to be as jealous and upset as I have been? Women, any tips on handling this?

Thanks. Sorry for the lengthy post.



Jack170202
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:33 am

Re: Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by Jack170202 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 5:19 pm

Feet are attractive to us, just like how tits and ass are to any man... we just have to look because we can’t help it, it’s like seeing a naked woman.
If he has been doing things with another woman over cam then that is like cheating in my honest opinion.... BUT, you darling must take a look at yourself and see that whatever you are doing inside or out of the bedroom may not excite him anymore, communication in any sexual relationship is key, especially in a relationship where one or both partners have a certain fetish that must be full filled. Talk to him and ask him what he wants and do not be afraid to be a bit spontaneous yourself, surprise him whether it be under the table or during a random time in the day, make your feet look nice, talk dirty, role play and many more stuff just get creative, but if he continues to buy shoes from strangers and do whatever he is doing (masterbating) with cam girls... break up with him cos that ain’t worth nobody’s time and get with someone who actually appreciates you rather and use you as a sex toy. Plus you shouldn’t avoid the advice of men too.
Best wishes 😁

shoequeen15
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:54 pm

Re: Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by shoequeen15 » Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:52 pm

Jack170202 wrote:
Tue Jun 25, 2019 5:19 pm
Feet are attractive to us, just like how tits and ass are to any man... we just have to look because we can’t help it, it’s like seeing a naked woman.
If he has been doing things with another woman over cam then that is like cheating in my honest opinion.... BUT, you darling must take a look at yourself and see that whatever you are doing inside or out of the bedroom may not excite him anymore, communication in any sexual relationship is key, especially in a relationship where one or both partners have a certain fetish that must be full filled. Talk to him and ask him what he wants and do not be afraid to be a bit spontaneous yourself, surprise him whether it be under the table or during a random time in the day, make your feet look nice, talk dirty, role play and many more stuff just get creative, but if he continues to buy shoes from strangers and do whatever he is doing (masterbating) with cam girls... break up with him cos that ain’t worth nobody’s time and get with someone who actually appreciates you rather and use you as a sex toy. Plus you shouldn’t avoid the advice of men too.
Best wishes 😁
That’s the thing, he has very specific likes when it comes to his fetish and I feel like I don’t do the same things as the girls he watches. I’m a pro at dangling/heel-popping/etc (I’m naturally fidgety, I just do this out of habit) so I think he’s just bored because it’s routine with me. I can’t help that I do it and I feel like he views it as “eh, seen that before”

I don’t ask him for pointers because he doesn’t like when it’s “forced” or a “performance”. I’m not dissing him in any way, I love him very much, but I feel like he’s insatiable when it comes to this whole thing (as I’m sure 99% of you all are lol) and that I can’t fully please him, because he’s always going to watch porn.

I also don’t think he’s ever going to stop buying women’s shoes. He has a large storage bin full of them and his last purchase was last month (he hid that from me too). I know he’s going to continue to add to it, I just don’t know how to cope. I feel like I’m always competing and that I’m not really what he likes.

I’m a little on the chubby side, so my legs/feet I feel don’t really get him going. All the women I’ve seen on his posts/purchases are very slender, so it makes me feel like he’s just “settling” with me.

Definitely not avoiding men’s advice! I want men’s advice lol. I want to know how you guys feel about the women in your life and if this is reason for me to be as paranoid and jealous as it currently makes me

Jack170202
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:33 am

Re: Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by Jack170202 » Wed Jun 26, 2019 5:22 am

If you’re dating this guy who blatantly isn’t turned on by you then I’m sorry to say this but I very much doubt that the relationship will be healthy for your mental wellbeing and that you should break up with him...

shoequeen15
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2019 1:54 pm

Re: Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by shoequeen15 » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:41 pm

Jack170202 wrote:
Wed Jun 26, 2019 5:22 am
If you’re dating this guy who blatantly isn’t turned on by you then I’m sorry to say this but I very much doubt that the relationship will be healthy for your mental wellbeing and that you should break up with him...

Well no that’s not what I’m saying though, he is turned on by me, my problem is I don’t know how to cope with him being equally turned on by other women and how to deal with knowing he’s buying used shoes all the time and constantly being on a forum reading stories and secretly like getting off. Our sex life is pretty much back to normal, my question for you I guess is how do you view your partner/if you have a partner how would you reassure them that it’s nothing personal?? Unless it is personal. That’s all I’m asking

Jack170202
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:33 am

Re: Advice for dealing with fiancés fetish (Lengthy post)

Post by Jack170202 » Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:12 pm

Well I guess that you just have to cope with the fact that your partner enjoys collecting shoes and watching porn... you just have to cope with it, if your ok with it then that’s all that matters as long as he isn’t doing anything with a physical person but just try be spontaneous with your foot and put you foot on his crotch without him realising before hand and come up with many other spontaneous sexual stuff, in layman’s terms make him excited when he is with you, so much so that he will be fixated on you even when he isn’t around you.
Yeah it’s nothing personal it’s just what he enjoys but make him enjoy you more and want you more.

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