OK, here goes something I've been working on for a little while. I've always enjoyed writing shoeplay-centric erotica. I usually keep it to myself, but this time, I thought I'd share.
This is just the first few pages of what I've written so far (and what I'm slowly reworking to maybe be a little more enticing for the audience). It's the story of a young woman from a sheltered background who, one night at work, discovers the joy of playing with her shoes. Slowly, with encouragement from one of her friends and co-workers, she broadens her fashion and shoeplay horizons. It's a composite of some real situations, some fantasy situations, and maybe some real situations embellished for the benefit of the tale!
Let me know what you think; if the response is favorable, I'll release a little more in a week or so.
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Mallory Mandelson found herself watching the clock anxiously as the day wound down. Friday nights at the bank were a typical shift for her, but this particular Friday had been so busy, and now, with a half-hour left before close, it had been dead quiet. Even now, there was no one in the lobby, and no one left in the bank, just one manager working on setting up a new account up front in her cubicle, and the part-time teller Sarah was somewhere in the little vault room off of the teller’s pit. It meant that Mallory felt rather alone.
Mallory had worked at the bank for a few years. It was a great job for a small-town girl working her way through college. The hours had been flexible, work stayed at work instead of following her home, and she never had to wear uniforms. As long as she dressed nicely, she was fine. She had graduated from college that summer expecting to take another retail job short-term, but she had been asked to put more hours in at the bank, and she figured the bank experience helped her business degree look that much stronger. Besides, most of the applications she had sent out had gone unanswered.
As Sarah re-emerged from the side office, Mallory heard loud clicks on the tile floor as the bank manager, Katerina, walked back to the counters. “Yay, all done!†Katerina said in a distinct but light Russian accent. “Now we can almost go home.â€
“We can close early,†Sarah added, laughing.
“Oh, how I would love to,†Katerina said, standing against the counters once she pulled the locked door shut. “My feet are hurting so bad.â€
Mallory looked down at the simple black flats poking out from under her black pants, and thought of how her own shoes had been uncomfortable for the last hour. But Katerina was wearing tall black high heels, the kind Mallory’s mother had always forbidden her to wear. Katerina usually wore heels, but these seemed taller than her usual. Mallory wondered how she walked in them so naturally.
“Would it be those heels?†Sarah asked as she sorted some money by the drive-through window. “I don’t know why you wore those all day.â€
“Because they’re so cute!†Katerina said. “My boyfriend and I are going out tonight, and I think he will like them. But right now they’re so painful.â€
Mallory watched as Katerina gracefully arched her feet and stepped out of her heels, reaching down to rub one of her stockinged feet. Mallory felt her own feet arch up as she wished she could take her own shoes off. It was hardly the first time – she had seen other tellers take their shoes off behind the counter before – but she had never imagined doing so herself.
“Those are wicked cute,†Sarah said. “How tall are they?â€
“Four inches,†Katerina said, now walking around in her tan-stockinged feet. “I love, love, love them.â€
“I don’t think I could walk in anything that tall,†Mallory said.
“Yes, but you never wear heels,†Katerina said. “You could get used to it.â€
Sarah laughed. “That’s why I wear heels around my house,†she said. “Why don’t you ever wear heels?â€
Mallory felt a bit self-conscious. “I was never allowed to wear heels when I lived at home,†she said. “So I’ve never bought heels before. I have one pair that my mother allowed me for church on Sundays that were a teeny bit taller.â€
“So now you need to buy some daring shoes,†Sarah said, still laughing.
Mallory had noticed Sarah’s shoes earlier. While Mallory wore conservative black flats, Sarah’s long black pants gave way to cheetah-printed flats with a black bow on the toe. While Mallory felt like her own flats looked like something her mother would wear, she thought Sarah’s shoes were more fitting for a girl who had just turned twenty-one. “I like your shoes, Sarah,†she said.
Sarah stuck one leg out, letting her pantleg pull away so she could show off the shoe. “Aren’t they cute?†she said. “I have heels in this same pattern, they’re so hot. Every girl needs a pair of cheetah-print shoes.â€
Mallory found herself wondering how she would look in a pair of cheetah-print shoes. “I don’t think I’ve ever thought about owning animal print shoes.â€
“Want to try them on?†Sarah asked, not even waiting for an answer before stepping out of them. “Kat, can I try your heels?â€
“Sure,†Katerina said. “They’re a size eight.â€
Mallory glanced at her stocking-footed manager and her barefoot co-worker, and then at the empty cheetah-print flats in front of her. Mallory only wore a size seven, but she wanted to see how the pretty shoes would look on her. Sarah had already slipped into Katerina’s heels and taken a few tentative steps. “Go ahead, Mallory,†Sarah said. “Try them on!â€
Mallory nervously slipped one black-socked foot from her flat and stepped into Sarah’s cheetah-print flat. She was so used to her own flats that the cheetah-print shoe felt large by comparison. She slid her foot forward in the shoe before slipping off her other shoe and stepping into the matching cheetah-print flat.
“Katerina, these are so hot,†Sarah said. “So tall. But really tight in the toe. No wonder your feet hurt! Mal, what do you think?â€
“They’re a little big,†Mallory said. But as she looked down, at the cheetah-printed toes peeking out from her pantlegs, she was intrigued. The shoes looked daring, modern, more her own age. They were rather comfortable, too, even though there was a quarter of an inch between her heels and the back of the shoes. She copied Sarah and stretched out one leg, examining how the shoe looked on her black foot. The black bows were supposed to be a cute addition, but Mallory wondered if the whole package together was more sexy than cute. It was never something she had applied to a pair of shoes she owned.
“Kat, look at Mallory. Aren’t those cute?†Sarah sang as she took a few more steps in Katerina’s tall pumps.
Katerina silently padded over. “Mallory, that’s a new look for you,†she said. “That’s really cute.â€
“I’ve never worn anything this daring before,†Mallory said. The truth was, the only thing daring about the shoes was the print. But for a girl who was raised in a strict religious household, anything more than the basics was living on the edge. For the first twenty-one years of her life, Mallory had become accustomed to skirts that dusted the floor, conservative sweaters and high-necked blouses, and flat dress shoes. Mallory’s parents had grudgingly allowed her to take college courses, but insisted that if she met a marriageable man, she was to drop out and start a family. Dating had never been Mallory’s strong suit, and after her parents introduced her to three potential husbands with the expectation that she would drop everything and get married, she decided to leave the church. It had been a difficult choice; her father still refused to speak to her, and her mother only called her every couple months, to ensure she was still okay, and to ask if she had gotten married yet. Mallory felt sick about the rift she had caused, but for the last year, she had lived life how she wanted to. It was a hard adjustment, but she was slowly letting go of her ultra-conservative past. Even if that could be marked by something so simple as walking around the bank in her co-worker’s cheetah-print shoes.
Sarah walked over, now in her bare feet after discarding Katerina’s heels by the front counter. “Animal print isn’t tacky anymore,†she said. “It’s not indecent like it used to be. I have like three pairs of animal-print shoes. It’s trendy.â€
Mallory smiled. “I like them,†she said. “They’re really comfy, too.â€
“You need to get a pair,†Sarah said. “I got mine at Payless. They’re just playful.â€
Mallory slipped one of the loose-fitting flats off, before realizing her flats were a few steps out of reach. She started to slip the shoe back on, but then realized that Katerina was still in her nylon feet, and Sarah was completely barefoot. How would it feel if she were barefoot in the office? Mallory set her toes on the carpet floor, and slipped the other flat off, standing on her two feet on the carpet. The texture of the carpet was a new feeling through Mallory’s socks, and she sort of liked it. “Now I’m being daring,†she said, laughing.
Katerina looked over. “Mallory, no shoes!†she said. “You’re wild tonight. What’s gotten into you?â€
“Well, my feet hurt,†Mallory said. She knew Katerina’s heels were more painful than her own old flats could ever be, so complaining about her own tired feet felt like an exaggeration. “And I’ve wanted to do this, like, forever.â€
“Go right ahead,†Katerina said. “I wish I could do this most nights.â€
Mallory tried to remember a night when Katerina actually had gone shoeless, or when any teller had done so. She had seen Sarah take a shoe off occasionally, but Sarah was the “wild†girl among the regular tellers. And Katerina was always strutting about in tall heels. “Why don’t you?†she asked innocently.
“Because a manager should wear heels,†Katerina said, rubbing her toes as she balanced on one foot. “It’s not professional to be shoeless.â€
“Maybe not, but it’s much more comfortable,†Mallory said.
“Besides, my boyfriend likes those awful awful heels,†Katerina said. “So I have to wear them out.â€
“You never know,†Sarah said. “My ex-boyfriend loved when I took my shoes off.â€
“Really?†Mallory asked, the speed of her answer surprising herself.
“Oh yeah,†Sarah said. “At dinner I would take one of my shoes off and rub my foot on his ankle. He loved it.â€
“I have to try that,†Katerina said. “These shoes get so sore.â€
“If I’m wearing heels,†Sarah said, “sometimes I’ll cross my legs and pop my heel off and just let it dangle from my toes. Guys will watch my foot forever when I’m doing that.â€
“Ooh, that would be nice, too,†Katerina added.
Mallory rubbed her feet on the carpet. Sarah made it sound like being shoeless was a science. It all sounded sort of exciting. It certainly felt exciting. And as she glanced down, she saw Katerina was doing the same thing she was, brushing her soles against the carpet. Sarah was still barefoot, but walking on her tiptoes, as if she were in high heels. While Katerina looked to be in pain, Sarah looked totally at ease.
“My ex liked when I wore nylons too, I think,†Sarah said. “Most guys don’t seem to notice but he did.â€
“My last boyfriend didn’t care so much,†Katerina said. “But I always wear stockings. It’s just more proper.â€
“I never used to wear nylons until recently,†Sarah said. “I like how they feel, though, especially when I have to take my shoe off.â€
“That’s how I grew up too,†Mallory said. “My mom always said that proper ladies wore nylons or tights with their dresses. And shoes.â€
“Well, then I’m glad I’m not proper,†Sarah said. All three girls laughed.
Mallory looked down again at her black-socked toes, wiggling from under the hems of her dress pants. Her shoes were still where she had left them, back by the teller’s counter. Mallory had been at the bank since eight that morning, and the feeling of the carpet under her soles felt so liberating and relieving, she had little interest in putting her shoes back on. Yet at the same time, she felt self-conscious and naked with her shoes off. Proper women, after all, wore shoes. She took a few tentative steps toward her flats. Sarah looked in Mallory’s direction and saw what she was about to do. “Shoes?†she asked with a disapproving tone in her voice.
Mallory nodded, stepping into her left shoe. Compared to Sarah’s cheetah-print flats, her own shoe felt worn-out and cheap and confining. She slipped her right shoe on and felt the same way. They were cheap flats, yes, but having traipsed around in Sarah’s barely-worn shoes, she saw the difference. Twenty minutes, she told herself. She had to wear them another twenty minutes. She could do that. Maybe tomorrow, she would feel more confident without them.
At last, it was eight o’clock. Mallory looked over the teller’s counter; the lobby had been empty for the last ten minutes, but she just wanted to make herself sure. She glanced back at Sarah, who was sitting atop a stool by the drive-through counter. Sarah’s bare feet were crossed at the ankles, her toes wrapped around the bottom rung of the stool. Katerina had left the teller’s counter, and was at her desk in the front of the bank, helping a customer with an account. At last, they got up, laughing, and Katerina walked the customer to the front door, locking it as she let the customer head out. Katerina had left her towering heels by the counter, so she was walking about in stockinged feet at the front of the store. Mallory breathed a sigh of relief and slipped off her flats as she waited for her computer to close out for the day.
“This was a bad idea,†Katerina sang, walking back to her desk.
“What was?†Sarah asked.
“Taking my shoes off,†Katerina replied. “I don’t think I want to put them back on.â€
“You should have worn flats, Kat,†Sarah said, stepping down from her stool.
“But then I’m not tall and sexy!†Katerina said, opening the door to the teller’s counter.
“So be short and sexy,†Sarah said, laughing.
“I was so embarrassed to go out there in my bare feet,†Katerina said. “At least it was a woman. Women understand shoes.â€
“Especially with these shoes,†Mallory said.
“Mallory cheated,†Sarah said. “She put her shoes on again.â€
“I felt awkward!†Mallory said. “I just felt really self-conscious so I put them on until you locked the door.â€
“It’s okay,†Sarah said, slipping her cheetah-print flats back on. “I felt like that the first time I took my shoes off like that, too. It’s something you have to get used to.â€
“Me too,†Katerina said. “That’s why I was like, I’m sorry but I’ve been standing in those shoes for twelve hours, I can’t put them on right now.†She gingerly slipped her foot back into her left shoe.
“I don’t want to wear my shoes now,†Mallory said. “I think I need new shoes.â€
“You have had those forever, Mallory,†Katerina said, finally slipping her other shoe on.
Mallory picked up one of her flats. “I have,†she said. She had bought them at Kmart when she was a high school senior. They had survived classes and graduations and work-study jobs and four years of working as a bank teller. They had survived warm summers and cold winters and surprise snowstorms. But they looked like they had survived all of that, and they felt like it, too. The soles were worn completely smooth, which made them treacherous when it was wet or slippery outside. It was time to find some new shoes.
“You need to go shopping, Mal,†Sarah said.
“Maybe I’ll do that tonight,†Mallory said, finally slipping her shoes on. The more she dwelled on them, the more she found them uncomfortable. “I think I will.â€
“If you hurry,†Sarah said, “the mall closes at nine.â€
“Do they still have your cheetah flats at Payless?†Mallory asked.
“I’m not sure, they’re a year old now,†Sarah said. “But I’ll bet you can find something just as stylish. Don’t be afraid to try something new.â€
“As long as I can work in them,†Mallory said, smiling.
“If I can work in these, you can too,†Sarah said. “I wish I could go with you!â€
“Me too,†Katerina said.
“But your date,†Sarah said.
“Exactly,†Katerina said, striding to the door. “So let’s get going before I
change my mind!â€
-----
So there we go. Comments, thoughts, suggestions, anything you think will help is appreciated. Chances are if you like the sound of a change, others will too!
Steps To Awareness: Part 1 (Fiction)
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paradigm88
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:54 am
Believe it or not, I have about 40 pages of story written already; this is about the first 4-5 pages! I'm going to go through and reset the paragraph breaks (tabbed paragraphs just don't break up the flow enough for posting on a forum).
I started writing this the same way I did with a lot of my erotic fiction; there's never really an "endgame" in sight. I'd add a new "chapter" or event usually focused around how I wanted the character to look; maybe it was a girl I'd spotted in a restaurant, a memory of a female friend, or a photo online. From there I'll build the events. I'm a little anal-retentive to that end; I want to keep the story somewhat believable, instead of this girl spending all her time playing with her shoes. I've run into a lot of walls that way; I'd get a few pages into the story, feel like I couldn't trudge through the boring "this person does more than shoeplay" filler, and move on to a new character and a new setting. Maybe this is easier because at least I can fill space with bank tales; for years I avoided direct deposit for that Friday-evening opportunity to stop by the bank, chat (hopefully flirt) with the tellers, and maybe catch a glimpse of end-of-shift shoeplay.
You'll get to enjoy the story from Mallory's perspective from start to finish. But her growth is largely connected to the women and the men she knows and meets...so don't worry, you'll get to learn more about Sarah and friends, too!
I started writing this the same way I did with a lot of my erotic fiction; there's never really an "endgame" in sight. I'd add a new "chapter" or event usually focused around how I wanted the character to look; maybe it was a girl I'd spotted in a restaurant, a memory of a female friend, or a photo online. From there I'll build the events. I'm a little anal-retentive to that end; I want to keep the story somewhat believable, instead of this girl spending all her time playing with her shoes. I've run into a lot of walls that way; I'd get a few pages into the story, feel like I couldn't trudge through the boring "this person does more than shoeplay" filler, and move on to a new character and a new setting. Maybe this is easier because at least I can fill space with bank tales; for years I avoided direct deposit for that Friday-evening opportunity to stop by the bank, chat (hopefully flirt) with the tellers, and maybe catch a glimpse of end-of-shift shoeplay.
You'll get to enjoy the story from Mallory's perspective from start to finish. But her growth is largely connected to the women and the men she knows and meets...so don't worry, you'll get to learn more about Sarah and friends, too!
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paradigm88
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:54 am
To be honest, I've been working on a sort of novel for about...God, almost fifteen years now! I started it as a senior in high school and I've kept tweaking, rewriting, revisiting. Sadly, it's sat stagnant for a while now. Finding time to sit back and write something like that can be difficult, though I'm trying to facilitate that...spending more time with the laptop, where all the stories reside.
I just like to focus on creating a character I can imagine actually exists; then, I feel a bit more vested in creating the story around them. Like you said, if you're going to create a character and move on, you don't really need to spend hours thinking about what they do, what they like. It's also good to help keep consistent, too. The more of a character I build, I don't have to wonder if I made certain things impossible later on down the line.
As for the next installment...maybe I can clean up the next part and run with it tomorrow morning? Or even late tonight, if the inspiration strikes. Should I maybe keep each part to a separate thread?
I just like to focus on creating a character I can imagine actually exists; then, I feel a bit more vested in creating the story around them. Like you said, if you're going to create a character and move on, you don't really need to spend hours thinking about what they do, what they like. It's also good to help keep consistent, too. The more of a character I build, I don't have to wonder if I made certain things impossible later on down the line.
As for the next installment...maybe I can clean up the next part and run with it tomorrow morning? Or even late tonight, if the inspiration strikes. Should I maybe keep each part to a separate thread?
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paradigm88
- Posts: 377
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 3:54 am
The novel isn't about anything fetish-related at all, actually. My idea was to write a novel following a bunch of high school students over their last couple months of classes before graduation. Their experiences would be the experiences my friends and I had - sort of a memoir, but more a fictionalized dramatization of what really happened. The characters were all based off character traits of my friends and my social crowd, the teachers modeled after our real teachers. The two main characters are a male student, an academic natural content to get by on his innate intelligence, and his long-time confidante and girlfriend, an intensely-driven overachiever who has yet to learn how to relax. Each chapter would alternate - his life and his perspective, her life and her perspective.
I got a fair bit written before college, and at the time, the amount of drivel I was pumping out for a grade my freshman year (and my discovery of LAN gaming!) sidetracked my recreational writing. I'd come back to it regularly, and start cutting away and reworking. The first chapter had been a sort of intro to both characters and their perspectives, and I changed that. I'd eventually rework each chapter to make sure I didn't "slip out of character" (occasionally, I'd have expounded on some character's thoughts, and I'd have to correct that, since neither of my characters were clairvoyant!). I'd work in something I wanted one character to experience, and realize I'd have to write an offsetting chapter for the other. I tried creating a fictional setting, but decided I liked the "real" setting of our teen years more, if only because it felt more believable. I even tried reworking the characters; at one point I felt the male character was almost bipolar, alternating between caring for his overworked girlfriend and completely unsympathetic at times. That had to be corrected.
The kicker is dialogue. A story like that exists largely in dialogue and inner monologue, and keeping dialogue natural and interesting is a real challenge. No one wants to read about someone's uninteresting conversations.
I've even thought about leaving that story behind and exploring the sequel - that is, college life, which in hindsight was a lot more fun than high school. Never mind the technology and cultural advances! I have to remind myself at times that only a couple of the characters might be lucky enough to have a cell phone.
I got a fair bit written before college, and at the time, the amount of drivel I was pumping out for a grade my freshman year (and my discovery of LAN gaming!) sidetracked my recreational writing. I'd come back to it regularly, and start cutting away and reworking. The first chapter had been a sort of intro to both characters and their perspectives, and I changed that. I'd eventually rework each chapter to make sure I didn't "slip out of character" (occasionally, I'd have expounded on some character's thoughts, and I'd have to correct that, since neither of my characters were clairvoyant!). I'd work in something I wanted one character to experience, and realize I'd have to write an offsetting chapter for the other. I tried creating a fictional setting, but decided I liked the "real" setting of our teen years more, if only because it felt more believable. I even tried reworking the characters; at one point I felt the male character was almost bipolar, alternating between caring for his overworked girlfriend and completely unsympathetic at times. That had to be corrected.
The kicker is dialogue. A story like that exists largely in dialogue and inner monologue, and keeping dialogue natural and interesting is a real challenge. No one wants to read about someone's uninteresting conversations.
I've even thought about leaving that story behind and exploring the sequel - that is, college life, which in hindsight was a lot more fun than high school. Never mind the technology and cultural advances! I have to remind myself at times that only a couple of the characters might be lucky enough to have a cell phone.
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