How do you?????

[kingdom]

So imagine that you're going out with a new girl. You've been out on a couple of dates, but you have not been able to get intimate yet. After your third date, she invites you up for a drink. Would you tell her about your fetish, or do you just let it happen naturally? I'll start a poll. Then we can discuss this more in detail. How exactly do we break it to our new girlffriends? I started mine by massaging her feet after a long night of dancing and then she just started to rub my crotch. From then, I just told her I was "hooked" and addicted to it. She keeps doing it to me now as you can see with those pics that I"ve posted. Anyway, comments please! Thanks guys.

[Dead Parrot]

Kingdom, I'm glad it's worked out for you so quickly and happily. Keep it up and let us know how thing are progressing (if you want to).

For a lot of guys though things are difficult. A relationship with a woman is a minefield in itself without adding fetishes to the mix. Regardless of the person, the circumstances or the depth of the relationship you must proceed slowly and with caution.

I cannot emphasize that enough, and I'll return to that thought shortly.

The first thing you really need to do is to look at yourself, and what you want out of this or any other relationship with a woman. If you are looking for something beyond a fling or a fuckbuddy then you must adjust your focus. Tone down your fetish, relax and remember the fundamentals of what a woman is looking for in a man. Also remember what you are looking for in a woman.

You are romancing and courting the whole woman, mind, body and soul, not just a pair of attractive legs and feet.

If you don't keep that in mind and let your fetish control you then the woman will use her legs and feet...to run away from you as fast as she can. No matter how open minded she may be, you run the risk of shocking her if you let on too early or come on too strong. A woman who is shocked is tense, and a woman who is tense makes a lousy lover.

If your intention is to build a relationship with a woman then you must look at the whole woman. Is she a bitch, or does she have a great attitude towards life? Is she physically fit, or does she keep McDonalds in business? Is she hardworking, or is she just looking for a sugardaddy?

Guys, it's not about her feet, it's about her, as a person and a potential lover and companion. You really have to decide what kind of woman you are looking for in life and not spend all your time just looking at them from the knees down. Otherwise some golddigger will latch onto you and rob you blind after she tricks you into marriage.

All right, back to revealing your fetish. Before you do anything you need to ensure that she is relaxed and feels comfortable with you. Remember, feelings trump everything else in a woman's perception. Facts, reality and logic mean nothing to her as long as she is able to feel a certain way. If she feels secure in the relationship then there's probably nothing she won't let you do to any part of her body. As I said in another post, once she's yours she'll help you rob banks, no questions asked.

So how do you proceed? If you're doing your job as a male (being masculine) then you are radiating the three big things women look for: self-confidence, self-control (discipline, patience), and challenge (let her chase you because you are the man).

As the relationship progresses you can slowly begin to reveal and satisfy your sexual needs. A foot massage is the best way to start out. Take her hiking, or to an amusement park for the day. All that walking will have her puppies crying for attention. Have a picnic at sunset, and just start untying her shoes. Don't ask or acknowledge what you're doing, just do it and start giving her a massage.

And don't look at her feet.

Not just yet. Remember that you have to go slow. You want her to continue to see you as a man, not a freak (not that any of us are freaks). Google on how to give a proper foot massage. You want to give her your best and keep her coming back for more right???

Do this each time you go dancing or do physical activities. She will get used to you handling her feet. Unless she initiates something as in Kingdom's case, you can begin to up the ante. Comment on how she has smooth skin, that her nails look very sexy in that polish, or blow on her feet as you massage them. Later on you can buy her some polish that you pick out, or some stockings(!).

See what I mean about the gradual approach? Continue doing this and slowly raising the bar in touching her and working her feet into your physical and sexual encounters. Between her confidence in the relationship and you regularly handling her feet you can increase the level of intimacy.

Now I'm sure that some of you see some pitfalls here, or perhaps have even dealt with them in the past.

What if she asks about having a foot fetish? I would advise you to be honest...more or less. Tell you think that feet are an underrated part of a woman's body, and that if she takes care of them they can be very sexy.

What if she absolutely refuses to let you touch her feet? Then you have to balance your own sexual needs versus what you are looking for in a relationship. Yes, she may come around eventually, but are you going to take that chance? Do you want end up married and with kids to a woman who refuses to satsify you sexually, and may even belittle you because of your fetish?

My advice would be to move on before you do anything that would commit you to a potentially bad relationship.

Women are strange creatures, especially Western women. They frequently act like 6 year olds so you have to keep a firm hand on them. But if you do your job as a man, go slowly and take no shit from them you should be on the road to a decent relationship. If she blows it then it's no big deal. You should have other women on the side who are ready to take her place.

Besides, as a man you should have hobbies and interests that you treat like women, and that you pour your time, energy and brains into so that you can be the best.

Once again guys, it's not her just feet, it's the total package: attractive, physically fit, hard working, good mothering qualities, loyalty and a positive attitude. That's who you're looking for.

DP

[wsrfr]

I agree pretty much for the most part. If you want a lasting relationship which will presumably give you what you want, you have to be really careful. Some women are more open minded than others too. For some, I simply mention the words shoes or feet and they take off. Others are surprisingly open minded and even want to know more! One lady I got to know before I mentioned it said it was no big deal and that all women did it (shoeplay). Furthermore, she had no idea that (some) guys got off on that stuff. I was really surprised and she was expecting something much bigger (like maybe being gay). But even the open minded ones expect you to keep your thoughts in balance. Otherwise they think you are with them just to look at their feet and shoes (or whatever)and that is where you run into trouble if you are trying to build a relationship.

So watch the foot watching stuff, as hard as that may be, or you may not get another chance with her. BTW, I think more women know about "foot guys" now than they did several years ago, and they also know that nearly every single guy likes nice legs and high heels, so it wouldn't be hard to "put it together" if you are acting strangely.

Ironically, as much as I am into feet and heels, I have gone out with some gorgeous ladies as FRIENDS and I didn't feel the urge to look at their feet for shoeplay or whatever, even though they had very nice ones.
OK, so I had the urge to look once or twice. But I was so captivated by their other assets that I nearly forgot their feet. It is also a little easier to forget their feet if you can't see them anyway. Interesting, isn't it??

[wsrfr]

I agree with the majority that I would just massage her feet but I would have to know her at least a little before I did it. Most women are really sensitive about being touched by someone they don't know. Furthermore, some may even think it is downright a weird thing for a guy to do.

I used to sell women's shoes and many of them don't want their feet touched at all. Its really weird. New shoes are not exactly slip on. The heel cup is closed up and they have to wiggle their heel in. So often I had to open it up for them. Some are ok with it but others.. like my ex g/f do not like it. I asked her why she felt that way. She just replied "I think it is weird for any guy to be touching a woman's feet and besides, I don't like guys touching me..any part of me..unless I am on a crowded bus or something like that". Then I said "well how about me?? She replied "well to tell the truth, I don't know why you like to touch my feet, but that is what you like so I don't object". So I asked her if she met some guy at a dance and she liked him and spent most of the time dancing with him; if he pulled one of your legs up on his lap, removed your shoe, and gave you a massage, you would think that was too weird for you?? She replied "I don't know...I guess it would be ok esp if my feet hurt..if I liked the guy I guess it would be ok". So there you have it...

[kingdom]

Gosh there is a lot of good feedback from the member so far. Thank you so much, and I'm looking forward to see how this poll turns out. Keep up the good work! Take care.

[ILF]

These days, more and more women are very open to different methods of meeting their partners desires, feet included.

It would not be wise to bring it up on the first few dates. But eventually, as intimacy increases between the 2 of you, it can be brought up.
I agree on many aspects of DP's comments and believe his explanation is a reasonable and realistic approach.

And remember, when the two of you are really into each other, you'll both be more willing to be open to different ideas of satisfying each other.
You need to be attuned to her need/desires.

Trust me.

[kingdom]

Well guys, it wsa interesting to see how some of you would initiate. I've been lucky enough to have an understanding gf before and at present. But it was nice to find out how other guys initiated the entire fetish to their gfs. I understand itt's difficult, and not an easy topic to bring up. In fact, I think it is still considered taboo in many countries. I just hope we can break that barrier and let people know that footsie is a great and fun way to pursue a better and longer lasting realationship. Good luck guys!

[wsrfr]

I'm a little surprised at the number of respondents who would rub the lady's leg under the table (presumably) to initiate. For me, it would be an indicator that I am interested in sex. If I am interested in getting to know her better, and not necessarily sex (right away) than I think that is the wrong approach, but that is just me. Ditto for the lady. Any lady who would rub my leg I would interpret as being interested in having sex. On the other hand, if she is interested in something more substantive, then I think that gesture would be misguided. And of course if she has got her foot up your crotch (which is really ballsy for a lady) than you KNOW what she wants and maybe nothing more. But for ME, I would rather SHE make the contact than me making a fool out of myself; and I would rather she use her pump to do it with.

[ykantickleme]

Words of wisdom DP. It is like an early post I put up, about keeping your lips zipped and trap closed, but if you ever expect to get to that point, I believe it must come naturally. Not every woman likes a man with a foot fetish.